Saturday, December 8, 2012

i hate pumping

Everyone always asks, "Are you nursing?" One, like it's any of their business, and two, how do I answer that? I hate it when I'm at the doctors and they ask if I am breast or bottle-feeding. Uh, yes. More than one person has even had the audacity to ask why I chose to pump exclusively. Exclusively pumping was not something I decided on or ever thought I would have to do. It is double the work of breastfeeding or formula feeding and is not natural. I had four consults at the Breastfeeding Center, saw 5 different lactation consultants (both inpatient and outpatient), a pediatrician, a nurse practioner, an ENT, and had my mother and mother in law to help me. It was my sole mission for the first 5 weeks to get my son to breastfeed and I had no success. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but I wanted him to have my milk and that was the only option.

It seems to come fairly naturally to everyone else I know. Perhaps difficult at first but at least there is success for those that want to breastfeed. Not only do I have to pump but I have to maintain my supply. It doesn't matter if I get enough at one session to feed him twice, I still have to pump every time he eats to maintain my supply. So in the middle of the night, I have to warm up a bottle and feed the baby and then go pump. Yay. And I have to wash bottles. It is so important to me for him to have my milk yet I feel like pumping interferes with my time with him and bonding. At least once or twice a day, I have to sit on the floor, attached to the pump, with the baby in the bouncy seat while I bottle feed him. How instinctual is that?

I hate pumping.