Sunday, January 27, 2013

Month four

Wear and fill out 6 months clothes
Usually only wake up once a night to eat
Rang in the New Year at Yaya and Papas
Giggle and laugh
Moved from the cradle in our room to your crib
Jan 17th you rolled from your belly to your back twice
Can't get you to do it again though
That same night you slept 7 hours straight
Haven't done it since
After the move from cradle to crib, you regressed to waking up 5 to 6 times a night
Drool like a faucet
Stopped taking a pacifier but prefer to chew on your hands and fingers


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Guilt

It's surprising how much guilt comes with being a mom. It follows me around all day everyday and burdens me with thoughts of I'm not good enough and if only I was better and its all my fault. It starts early too.

Like for not taking my prenatal vitamins because of how nauseous I was and then having to go through rounds of ultrasounds and blood work because the baby might not be okay.

Or wondering why my life is filled with blessings and a healthy baby while others suffer with infertility, miscarriage, or the death of their children.

Not being able to breastfeed after 8 weeks of unsuccessful struggling.

Every time I make a bottle, I feel like I'm feeding my kid McDonalds instead of home grown, organic goodness.

I think its all my fault when my child cries in pain from gas or vomits for 45 minutes after another unsuccessful attempt with a brand of formula.

And if my baby gets sick, it will be because I work 20 hours a week taking care of other people's sick babies and I brought the germs home.

But, as my mom reminded me, guilt robs you of joy. And I am called to be joyful and rejoice always. So I will battle against guilt and I will overcome because I have so much to be thankful for.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

month three

At three months

Your eyebrows turn red when you're tired and about to cry
Fight sleep (just like your momma)
Wear size two diapers and six month sleepers and pants
Hold your head up without support
Sleep in your cradle for most of the night
Awake and happy more often
Will sit in your bouncer or on the play mat by yourself
Smile all the time
Met Aunt Marge and she brought you a stuffed dinosaur and book from London
Met Val, Steve, Jace, and Jack and cried the whole night
Get startled very easily
Stayed with Grammy T, Papa, and Maggie when I went back to work on
Spent Christmas Eve and christmas day morning with Yaya and Papa and everyone
And spent Christmas Day charming Grammy T and family at dinner