Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Two months old

Sleep in your bassinet in the pack and play at night and sometimes for naps. 
Your schedule isn't as set or as noticeable as joeys was at this age. 
But we do have a little bed time routine going and that seems to help. 
Usually will sleep from 8pm to 2 or 3am and then feed and go back to bed until 5 or 6 then feed again. Usually joey wakes you up for the day around 8. 
Right in between 3 month and 6 month clothes. 
In fact, Yaya put a 6 month sleeper on you for the first time and I cried! 
Wear size 2 diapers
Are taking to the paci well. 
Still hate the car seat and will scream even if you're feed, happy, and have a clean diaper. Sigh.
Started PT and after two weeks of stretches and exercises you seem much improved! We go back for follow up in another two weeks. 
Love to chew on your hands and stick your tongue out. 
Already drool like a machine just like your brother. 
Just started to laugh and have such a contagious smile! 


Lord, I am willing to receive what you give, to lack what you withhold, to relinquish what you take, to suffer what you inflict, to be what you require. 

Monday, November 24, 2014


You have become quite the fuss bucket and weeks 8 and 9 have been quite a doozy. I noticed some things though and it's kind of hard to admit: I don't like breastfeeding as much as I thought. Or like, kind of at all. Don't get me wrong, you and I have quite a special bond. You won't calm down for anyone but me. And dislike very much taking a bottle and really don't like transitioning between the two.
 It's so exhausting being the only source of food and comfort for you. Joey was exhausting but in a different way. I could take a break once in a while. Now I can't even take a shower without an interruption: "John needs you."
 I mean it's been 9 weeks and I still don't have one pair of jeans that fit. I can't go to the store for an hour to find a pair of pants without intense planning and Vegas- like luck on my side. 
I hate pumping. Especially at work. It just seems so dirty. And the set up and tear down and washing and storing everything. Ew. I have to keep my precious milk in a dirty, nasty, mold-filled community fridge. Barf. 
Maybe it's because it's winter, but I hate having to expose myself to feed you. It's cold! And I'm not comfortable feeding you in front of people either. It's awkward even with Joe. 
Everyone says it gets better and I'm going to hold out a while longer (3, 4 months) and then make a decision but maybe I liked bottle feeding more than I thought. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

John-john at one month old

11lbs and 23.25in
Dude, you're huge! 
(Update - Actually you're not huge. Doc says your only in 15% for weight! What?!? And here I thought you were a tank!)
You smile 
And love your mommy. 
You get pretty frustrated with bottles and awful crabby when I'm not home. 
Spent two Saturday's in a row with Dada and everyone survived! 
Will only nurse on the right side. 
Eat about 4oz in a bottle and I haven't need to supplement yet like I thought
Because I. Hate. Pumping. 
And you still hate the car seat. 
Pretty sure your eyes will be brown. 
And I'm pushing the use of a pacifer per the recommendation of my friends. 

Update #2 from the dr appt. I guess it's pretty obvious from this picture but you have torticollis. If we don't treat this you will have a misshapen head and might need a helmet to fix it. So far, the dr thinks we can treat at home but also recommends some PT if there's no improvement. This likely explains why you don't like to nurse on the left and don't like being in your car seat. So this means lots of tummy time, and stretching, and a consult to Dr. Ashley. 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The first four weeks

At one month check up you weighed 9lbs 12oz and 22in long
I'm telling you, all that growing happened over one weekend too
Seem pretty content just about anywhere except the car seat
Sleep in the swing and bassinet and seem to sleep better when it's noisy
Nurse well with the use of a shield
Have one long stretch of sleep from 7pm to midnight most nights
Power Hour, as your daddy calls it, is from 5pm-7pm where you eat non stop
Have easily fallen into the family routine
Wear 0-3 month sleepers and size one diapers
Eyes are gray and hair is darker
Tried eating from a bottle and did well with Daddy and Yaya
Have actual tears when you cry (which breaks my heart!)
Turn all sorts of funny colors and get real red and sweaty when you're mad (like in the car seat)
Like to extend your neck and arch your back when being held but have really good head control
I swear you've smiled already
Seem to calm easier for Momma than anyone else
Like your brother, you don't seem to care for a pacifer
We had one or two nights where you only woke up once in 10 hours!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A completely different experience

Since 36 weeks, I had been 3-4 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Everyone, including the midwives and doctors, thought I'd go into labor any day. They encouraged me to make my way to the hospital after an hour of strong, regular contractions because I'd likely go pretty quick. The one midwife would tell me who was on call every time I went in! So on Thursday night I had been cramping and contracting all evening. Nothing real painful but it was sort of regular. I even cried putting Joey to bed because I figured this would be our last night together. I decided to go to bed and see what happened; if they got worse, I'd wake up; if they went away, I'd sleep. Well I woke up in the morning very depressed. Nothing.

Joey and I had a good day and nothing exciting happened. We all went to Chick fil A and shopping after Joe got home from work that night. After Joey went to bed we watched some of our shows and then went to bed. Must have been the calm before the storm. 

I woke up at 1:30 with a contraction and went to the bathroom and it didn't go away, which was strange. I walked it off and when I laid back down, I had another one. Then 10 minutes later as I was dozing off, another one. So I got up and started timing them while watching TV. During that time they became really intense and were 6-8 minutes apart. I figured I would let Joe sleep as long as possible and wake him up just in time to shower and leave. I was having to stand and sway and started moaning when I decided I better call the doctor at 3 am. They didn't call back for 40 minutes and in that time I woke up Joe and told him it was time when the midwife, Ann, called back and said to come in to triage. Next I called mom and asked her to come over but not to rush. Then I realized I was having contractions every two to three minutes and I decided Joe didn't have time to shower and my mom needed to hurry up. What if she wanted to pack a suitcase or something? I was pacing up and down the driveway when she showed up because the house wasn't big enough for me to pace  during a contraction. 

Joe drove to the hospital and I told him it was okay to speed this time. We got there a little before 4:30 after doing 80 mph down Rt. 8! I even asked Joe to drop me off at the door even though the parking space was just feet away. During the hospital tour I made the comment that triage and the parking lot were so close but the walk seemed to take forever now that I was in labor! The resident checked me and said I was 5 cm but I was unable to sit still and I just couldn't believe it. After weeks of being nearly 4 cm and laboring so strongly at home, I was only 5 cm?! I didn't have pants on but I needed to stand and sway to tolerate the pain. It was awkward! The nurse said my room wasn't ready yet and then confirmed I wanted I go natural. I was like "No. I'd really like an epidural as soon as I can. Please." In my head, my answer was a lot less polite. So she attempted to start my IV. She blew one site and completely missed another before calling in anesthesia. It took four tries to get my IV started and they even used lido to numb my hand before digging around. I was near tears at this point. My room still wasn't ready yet; apparently the unit was very busy and the anesthesiologist said she'd just do the epidural in triage but the time it took to get the IV, my room opened up and she physically followed me down the hall. As soon as I sat down on the bed she got to work. It was funny though because there was no one else in the room but Joe, her and I and a nurse to hang my antibiotic. They made Joe sit on a stool at my feet and hold my hands and told me to just be still. No nurse, no midwife, no one to hold me! I kept thinking "Only one more contraction and then I can rest. Okay maybe this is the last one. No, okay, maybe this is the last one..." It took a few minutes longer than I expected but I was gloriously numb by 6 am or so when the midwife walked in. It was then that I realized I hadn't showered or shaved my legs like I wanted and was pretty embarrassed. It's the little things...

As I was laying down and getting covered up with a thousand blankets (between the pain and the labor process and the epidural, I was shaking and shivering right off the bed), she checked me and I said I was almost 10 cm and we could start pushing very soon! It had only been an hour and a half since I was only 5 cm! She asked me to let her know when I felt the urge to push. We were talking and she said her shift was over at 8 am and we'd for sure have a baby before that when I got suddenly nauseous and then my water broke. I looked around and told her that I thought I just peed myself (I was worried that meant I pooped too but it was just my water, thank goodness). She checked me one more time and said it was time to push, the baby was coming! I didn't even feel the pressure yet though. I was so nervous; I didn't feel like I had enough time to prepare. John would be here in less than hour?! I would be a mother of two in just a few minutes! I told Joe there is no one else here to take pictures so it's up to you. Make sure you get some good ones. Luckily things were happening so fast, I didn't even have time to dwell on it because Ann got gowned up and uncovered the warmer and I started pushing! The nurses were changing shifts so there happened to be two nurses in the room and they were giving report while one of them held my leg, During the first push, I looked at Joe and saw his eyes get real wide and he excitedly told me he could see the head! I really couldn't even feel it but apparently I was doing a good job of pushing! Two more pushes in, I could feel the pressure of the baby's head and with one last push he was out! I was so confused because it wasn't even painful. I asked, "Was that him?!" and she held up John and gave him to me to hold on my chest. It was 7:13 am.

It was so quiet and so calm in the room. There were just a handful of people, me, Joe, Ann, and a nurse. No doctor with multiple residents, no nursing students, and only one nurse. It was awesome. John only cried for a few minutes when he started squirming and Joe pointed out that he looked like he was trying to find some food! I had read that babies will root to find the breast and it really did happen! He latched easily and sucked away. Because the IV antibiotics didn't finish infusing before John was born, he had to go to the Special Care Nursery and have his blood drawn to be cultured. They let me hold him for a long time before taking him away and offered to let Joe go with him.
So at just after 8 am, I was sitting in the room all by myself and eating breakfast, Just as I was starting to feel pretty sad, my boys came back and we got moved to a postpartum room. My grandparents came to visit by 11 am with my dad shortly after that and my mom and Maggie brought Joey to meet his brother around 2 pm. 

Friday, October 3, 2014


Happy birthday to a wonderful woman who shines the love of Christ everyday. You're patient, wise, and so giving. Not to mention you're Joey's favorite person and can do silly things like this

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Battle for joy

Some days joy is a gift. Sone days it's an all out battle. Fight on, girl. 

-- I don't know where this came from or who said it. 

Saturday, September 27, 2014

24 months - 2 years old!

(As of October 21 you are 25 lbs and 34.5 in)

Seem to have finally figured out how to sleep 11-12 hours at night
Finally moved up to size 4 diapers and 24 month clothes fit fairly well
Although I still have to get the adjustable waist jeans so I can make the waist tighter 
Talk and talk and talk non stop,
You must know hundreds of words and can string together 3 and sometimes 4 at a time! 
SUPER attached to Daddy, sometimes to the point of driving him nuts. You'll cry and scream if he goes to the bathroom without you and if Dada is home want nothing to do with Mama.
Still a picky, picky eater
Love to listen to music, dance, and can sing along.
Your favorite song is Relient K's cover of Baby by Justin Beiber (no joke). 
Went blueberry picking with Yaya and Mama but you weren't impressed even though blueberries are your favorite food. 
Went on two boat rides; a brunch cruise and on a pontoon to go fishing. 
During our Staycation of '14, we went to the Zoo (where you had a very embarrassing meltdown and tantrum) and helped get your brother's room ready. 
And now you have a one week old brother! 
Grandma and Maggie stayed with you while we were gone. 
Your first reaction to him was to point out all his different body parts. 
Love to give him hugs and kisses and are generally pretty sweet to him (us...not so much) 
For your birthday we had a very small family party at the last minute with pizza and donuts and your favorite gift was a toy power tool set. You love the drill and to carry your tools around just like daddy. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Chivalry Ain't Dead Yet

To use what is uniquely masculine in a humble, serving, and protective way — that is the essence of chivalry. We become this expressly furious and impassioned about a man’s abuse of a woman because he has so shirked and abandoned his manly, chivalrous duty. That is what drives our response to this kind of thing, no matter how progressive we otherwise pretend to be.

Not everything is a competition. It’s just particularly and specially important that we instill in our men the commandment that he should never physically abuse a woman. We must plant in him a code of honor that propels him to defend the women in his life. 

Because no amount of liberal feminist brainwashing can ever really erase our instinctual and innate understanding that men are not women and women are not men. And whatever else that means, it certainly at least means that it is the man’s job to be the protector. So in the end it seems that chivalry is not quite dead, no matter how hard we try to kill it.

And thank God for that.

--Matt Walsh 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Comfort Religion

I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.

--C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Prosperity Gospel

But nonsense is all that’s left when Christ is taken out of Christianity; when we preach a Word that doesn’t include words like sin, and duty, and obedience; when we adopt a Gospel that has no redemption, no forgiveness, no mercy, no justice; when we minimize prayer and virtue and truth; when we forget that ours is a faith for warriors and martyrs; when we pretend that Christ didn’t promise us suffering and persecution in this life; when we substitute true joy for mere happiness; when we treat the Bible like a theological box of Legos that can be deconstructed and reassembled into anything we want it to be. Ultimately, the Greatest Thing in the universe is turned into something as worthless, interchangeable, and disposable as an inspirational Facebook meme...

{They} distort Scripture and offer up a hollow, empty message, but he is adored because he does it with a smile, he doesn’t offend, and he gives off the general vibe of a man who probably chuckles at Family Circus cartoons. In other words, he is exactly what our society believes a Christian should be: nice, non-threatening, non-Biblical, and superficial...

But the true faith is one that rebels against our culture, challenges us to endure the hardships of life and the hatred of our peers, eviscerates our apathetic nature, interferes with our plans, commands us to confront our sins, and generally makes everyone very uncomfortable. It’s a dangerous, terrifying, beautiful, joyful, harrowing, redemptive thing. It’s real. A blazing wildfire that will consume and purify the entire world.

--Matt Walsh

What's in a name

It gives purpose to the original family member who holds the same name and inspires them to be a good role model to that child. For example: there is no one in the world I want my son to be like more than my husband and his father. Giving my future son his father’s name gives legacy to my son, honors my husband, and gives purpose to them both. 

-- Kid Nurse 

Friday, August 29, 2014

The craziest, most embarrassing 1.5 hours

The craziest, most embarrassing 1.5 hours

So it all starts with me asking Mag to watch Joey for an hour while I go to the dr. She says no because she has to do laundry :/ seriously?! For real?! She lives 1 minute away!!!

So we get there and the doc is running an hour behind. I've exhausted all my snacks, toys, videos and all sorts of entertainment and distractions just in the waiting room. And then, he poops. So I ask the receptionist where I can change him and she says in the exam room but we don't have one for you yet. I tell her I'll go to my car but she says not to because it won't be that long. So we wait 5 more minutes until they call me back and I go to change him and I don't have a diaper!! Usually I have a little emergency bag in my car but I didn't have my car, I had joes. So his nasty diaper has to go back on. Poor guy! It was a nasty poo too and I was feeling so guilty! 

And I'm supposed to get "checked" so off my pants go. Joeys content sitting in a chair, eating goldfish and playing in my purse when he finds my lipstick. So I jump off the table and try to wrap the sheet around me to take the lipstick from him when in walks the doc! Uh...hi there! You know, just picking up goldfish from the floor and hiding my lipstick from my son. Come on in! And I have NO pants on! 

I'm so nervous and stressed now that I'm sweating like a pig and I haven't gone to the bathroom in like 1.5 hours so I gotta go again. I'm so scared I'll pee on her. She checks me and says I'm 3-4cm and 50%! (Say what?!?!) I go to sit up and slide right off the end of the table because I've sweated right off.  While this petite woman goes to catch my naked self and I'm screaming, "I'm Not. On. The. Table!" And laughing thinking for sure I'll pee on her now! 

So we go to leave and I have to use the bathroom and I'm like booking it towards it dragging Joey with me. And of course me and this other lady go to walk in the one-seater at the same time. And I have no shame. I don't offer to let her go first. I just say, "I'll be real quick! I'm sorry!" Just as I sit down, Joey figures out how to open and unlock the bathroom door (which opens to the lobby,btw). My first reaction without thinking is to close the door but of course I'm not done peeing yet and wind up peeing all over the floor and my pants! I should have just finished and waved to who ever could see me! Lol  So the promise of "I'll be real quick" turns into me on my hands and knees mopping up my own pee from the bathroom floor. 

Joey and I book it out of there as fast as we can and I can never show my face (or my bottom) there again!!

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, August 27, 2014


"If we stay together, I'll have to forgive you over an over again, and you'll have to forgive me over and over again. So forgiveness isn't the point. What I really should have been trying to figure out is whether we are still good for each other or not. I think you're still the only person sharp enough to sharpen someone like me." I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that's true of beginnings, but it's not true of this, now. I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me. 

--Veronica Roth 

Thursday, August 21, 2014


I knew by the way he looked at her that he held her in a higher regard thn he even held himself. No selfishness or insecurity kept him from seeing the full extent of her goodness. 

--Veronica Roth 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Crying Kids

I know you don’t love my kids like I do and you don’t delight in their presence like I do, but, frankly, few people delight in yours or love you like your parents do (hopefully), yet you still walk about unashamed. If you can, so can my kids.

After all, the worst a small child can be is irritating. Adults, on the other hand, can be vicious, obnoxious, invasive, irrational, petty, malicious, haughty, bitter, and abusive in a way that no toddler could ever match. 

-- Matt Walsh

Can I get an AMEN?!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Importance of family dinners

The family meal is the nursery of democracy. I really do think we literally civilize our children at the table. That’s where they learn to take turns and to share and to argue.

--MIchael Pollan (who ever that is) 

Monday, July 14, 2014

22 months

Every morning we snuggle ad watch tv while you drink some milk
And every morning you cry during your diaper change
You like to repeat the last word of a sentence 
Love swimming in the kiddie pool and we've been to the lake once and you really enjoyed the sand
Imitate and make all kinds of sounds effects 
Have become even more attached to your blankie
Still wear 18-24 months clothes and size 3 diapers
But seem much taller all of the sudden
Continue to wake up an hour before you're supposed to and are cranky! 
Love taking showers and playing in the water 

Friday, July 4, 2014

Growing up

Joe: I love that little guy. 
Me: Me too. I think we'll keep him, haha. 
J: Okay but he can only grow up enough to use the bathroom by himself and then stop. 

Friday, June 13, 2014


So I'm on Facebook and I realize that two of my friends from different areas and times in my life both had babies born today and then died today. What are the odds? What's up with June 13? 

Happy second heaven birthday A and C! Celebrate with Jesus and give comfort to your earthly parents today. I pray through your birth and death they may come to have a relationship with Jesus and know Him. 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

20 months

Your new favorite way to eat is with utensils. 
You can do yogurt and milk and cereal all by yourself and are willing to try new things if I give you a fork. 
All the baby bottles are gone! I haven't put them away yet though...
Shared an entire waffle cone of Honey Hut with dada and got your own baby cone at Handels, both of which you throughly enjoyed! 
LOVE being outside and are constantly bringing me your shoes and say, "Outside?"
You're such a ham and will say Cheese and pose anytime the camera comes out. 
Said Mama and actually meant it for me and were calling to me for the first time at Five Guys. It sounds more like Nanna than mama though. It melts my heart every time you say it. 
Your knees are constantly scraped up and bruised; you look like such a little boy all scabbed up. 
All boo boos must be kissed better. 
Know so many words and can understand just about everything we say and ask and will communicate your wants (for the most part). 
We found out you'll have a little brother soon and if I ask you will kiss my belly but we are still working on being gentle. It's pretty cute when you rock Monkey and cover him up with your blankie. 
Speaking of which, you still carry a blanket around like a little Linus and need one to go to bed. I'm worried about how you'll share blankies with a new baby. 

Friday, May 9, 2014

munchkin #2


Let's start from the beginning. Last time I saw two little pink lines, I was alone. This time around, I had a set of eyes watching my every move. I think that's funny for some reason. I haven't gone to the bathroom alone in about 19 months. That first week was bliss, and then it hit. The constant nausea and vomiting. Little man, you had me in the ER twice getting hydrated and in and out of the doctors office countless times to check my weight loss and urine for dehydration. EVERY doctor, nurse, ultrasound tech and resident insisted you were a girl. Nobody gets this sick with a boy, heck, maybe it's twins a couple of people said. That caused me to vomit more. Daddio stayed home with me for a week while I hung over the toilet but had to go back to work eventually. Your poor brother never ate some many cheerios, crackers, and cheese in those 12 weeks. It was the only thing I could stomach to make him. There were weeks when we didn't leave the house. I think I had the same tank of gas in my car for more than a month. Daddy took care of us and grocery shopped and brought home take out and learned to wash clothes. I missed a month of work. Everyday for 12 weeks, I got sick multiple times a day. I learned what came up easier, like yogurt and pop surprisingly. Popsicles and chocolate silk milk were staples and when I found something that stayed down, I ate it everyday for days! I was constantly nauseous. It never went away. I had a strict schedule of meds to try and keep the vomiting at bay and some days were better than others. The worst was changing your brothers diapers and there were many instances of throwing a diaper on him and then running to the bathroom. As I sat on the bathroom floor or hung over the kitchen sink, Joey would sometimes hug, sometimes attack, and sometimes just sit on me and it always made me smile. I had never felt more sick or more weak in my life. I lost 12 pounds. Fifteen was the magic number before the doctors considered placing a PICC line for daily hydration and IV medication. And after the first trimester (13 weeks), things started to slowly get better. The vomiting went down to once a day, and then to only when I was stressed, or encountered a really nasty diaper. I haven't been sick since 14.5 weeks and now Daddy can even make coffee without me making a sour face or tossing my cookies!

At 13 weeks, I had a ultrasound and I asked to the tech to guess if you were a boy or girl. I knew it was possible to tell but not likely and I thought for sure you were a girl. And if I was having a girl, there was a lot more preparation that was needed. Everyone had convinced me and she said we were all wrong, you were a boy (and it was kind of a relief)! A few weeks later this was confirmed and I have the pictures to prove it.

So all this is to say and to remind me, that you, dear little boy, are going to be our last. This uterus is closed for business after you're born. Daddy thinks I'm lying. I am BEYOND thankful for you and I am cherishing every moment of being pregnant and I love feeling you kick. In fact, if you wanted to kick more, that'd be perfect! I first felt you at 12 weeks right after doing the dishes. Sometimes you hit so hard, it catches me off guard and I get startled and yelp. It's pretty awkward when it happens at work, you know. At only 5.5 months, I'm already as big as I was at 7 months with your brother! I will hold you and snuggle you and tell myself every day to enjoy it. I will take the two boys that God has given me and hold them close and be content with every blessing. And I'm not counting God out of this picture; I believe that it's possible things and hearts (and uteruses, uteri?) change, and I'm open to that...then. Perhaps adoption? Who knows?! But I can't wait to meet you (this seems like it is going by so. so. slowly.) and have our family be complete. Try not to be too hard on me, okay, little man? I already love you no matter what though :)

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Dirty beliefs

Why is it wrong to have an opinion that doesn't line up with popular culture?! If you have a differing opinion at all, you're labeled intolerant and rude and run the risk of getting fired. 

"The point is, you turn on the TV or crank up the Pandora and you’re going to be watching or listening to a stream of deviants, junkies, rapists, pedophiles, adulterers, and crooks, yet we don’t bat an eye until someone quotes the Bible or endorses traditional marriage.

Amidst a sea of perversity and violence, the only thing the fascists seek to punish is the reasonable expression of Christian beliefs.

In a country of filth, the only thing you can’t be is pro-life and pro-marriage."

--Matt Walsh 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

what I wish I knew

I had so many regrets with Joey. There were so many things I wanted to do with him that I didn't get to or was unable to. This lead to a lot of guilt. I thought that maybe if I had only tried harder.... It would be far too tempting to fall back into the "guilt" way of thinking. Above all, my one biggest regrets is not enjoying it. I worried too much. The goal is a healthy baby. I had one and I kept thinking, "But I could make it better". Pumping took so much time away from Joey. Yes, I was doing it for him, but it made me crazy stressed. The more stressed I was, the less time I took to just enjoy him. I'll never get that time back. Switching to formula made me feel like a failure as a mother but gave me more time to spend with my newborn and less time to worry. I was able to relax knowing I didn't have to go pump right away or wonder how I would get it done.

Joe one day lectured/enlightened me that I should be thankful for formula. He's right! I'm grateful that formula is so safe and healthy and that my son is a happy, healthy, and a smart boy thanks to it. I mean, what would have happened to my JoBean if I hadn't had it?

I never ever thought this before but I miss sleeping with him. I miss him cuddled up next to me and keeping me warm and I could smell his head all the time. I miss those snuggles. And he's far too busy to sit and do it now. And he's so big (and I'm so big!) he can't get comfortable on me. He's likely to roll right out of bed or off the couch (He's a wild child when he sleeps, just like his mama)! I should have enjoyed that time more.

Now with this baby, and I say it's my last, I am going to try and enjoy every snuggle and every quiet moment. I'm so scared and nervous to attempt breastfeeding again but I know that if it's not working, it's okay to go to formula. It's more important to enjoy and love on my baby then stress over nipple shields and pumping schedules and washing equipment and all those other things that consumed me. 

I can't wait to meet you little one and have you complete our little family. Be safe and keep on developing in there, kiddo, and I will do my best to cook you up and meet you face to face in a few months! 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Oh yes

When you are in the midst of bottles and binkies and spit up and tantrums and sleepless nights – do not let the enemy whisper in your ear – “this is too much.”  Lean on Jesus and thank God for giving you SO much! 

--Courtney Joseph,

Thursday, March 27, 2014

1.5 years

Your life is no longer counted in months. You're now a year and a half old. Crazy! 
My life reverted back to weeks though. 
You never cease to crack me up. 
Yesterday you brought me wipes and then laid down on the ground. I wasn't sure if I should feel proud because you're so smart or guilty for not knowing you needed changed! 
This morning you dumped a laundry basket, tipped it over to crawl up on the couch, turned on the tv and behold, Sesame Street was on! I brought you some milk and Cheerios and you were swaying to the music while shoving Cheerios in your mouth. 
You put the camera tripod on your head and insisted on walking around like that for an hour. 
You're newest obsession is playing with my pots and pans. They wind up all over the house. You found the rolling pin too and use it as a bat and a cane. 
Nothing's safe from your reach. You can reach the couch, the kitchen table, the office desk and parts of the countertops. 
You finally got all your molars after a couple rough days and nights.
Now it seems as if your getting all four canine/ incisors at the same time. Ouch. 
We really need to get rid of that night time bottle but I think I'll miss it more than you will. It's the only time you're still and snuggley. 
But you only got five months because I will not have two babies with bottles! 
We also have to work on not hitting before the baby comes too :/ 

Friday, February 28, 2014

17 months

21.6lbs and 32in tall
Can say quite a few words like hot, no no, and on and a lot of gibberish 
And understand just about everything 
Follow some directions like 'get your blankie' or you can find a certain toy if asked
Got two molars on top
Better at table foods all of the sudden 
Will eat noodles, cut pears and fruits, and sometimes chicken
And will attempt almost anything else 
Naps have been getting pushed later and later

Monday, January 20, 2014

16 months

Rang in the new year with you sleeping at ya and pa's again. 
Said goodbye to the Babers
And you were quite lonely that first week being just you and I again.
Think you went through a growth spurt because you are all the sudden in 18 month clothes and slept a lot one week. 
Table food eating habits still stink and I almost feel like they're regressed some too. 
Occasionally like spiral noodles and French fries
But mostly cheese and crackers and yogurt are your staples. 
Finally don't pee through your clothes every night and don't seem to mind less of a bottle either
Getting to be very whiny and will throw yourself on the floor when you don't get your way or for no reason at all sometimes. 
Still love those gears and the school bus. 
Can say a few words like Dada and cracker and ZoeZoe but you understand a whoooolle lot more. 
It's amazing! 
You're new favorite word is socks - I think it's the s sound you like.
You even tried to repeat me when I said shoot :/ eeks! 
And we got some big news that you got to share with the family!