The craziest, most embarrassing 1.5 hoursSo it all starts with me asking Mag to watch Joey for an hour while I go to the dr. She says no because she has to do laundry :/ seriously?! For real?! She lives 1 minute away!!!
So we get there and the doc is running an hour behind. I've exhausted all my snacks, toys, videos and all sorts of entertainment and distractions just in the waiting room. And then, he poops. So I ask the receptionist where I can change him and she says in the exam room but we don't have one for you yet. I tell her I'll go to my car but she says not to because it won't be that long. So we wait 5 more minutes until they call me back and I go to change him and I don't have a diaper!! Usually I have a little emergency bag in my car but I didn't have my car, I had joes. So his nasty diaper has to go back on. Poor guy! It was a nasty poo too and I was feeling so guilty!
And I'm supposed to get "checked" so off my pants go. Joeys content sitting in a chair, eating goldfish and playing in my purse when he finds my lipstick. So I jump off the table and try to wrap the sheet around me to take the lipstick from him when in walks the doc! Uh...hi there! You know, just picking up goldfish from the floor and hiding my lipstick from my son. Come on in! And I have NO pants on!
I'm so nervous and stressed now that I'm sweating like a pig and I haven't gone to the bathroom in like 1.5 hours so I gotta go again. I'm so scared I'll pee on her. She checks me and says I'm 3-4cm and 50%! (Say what?!?!) I go to sit up and slide right off the end of the table because I've sweated right off. While this petite woman goes to catch my naked self and I'm screaming, "I'm Not. On. The. Table!" And laughing thinking for sure I'll pee on her now!
So we go to leave and I have to use the bathroom and I'm like booking it towards it dragging Joey with me. And of course me and this other lady go to walk in the one-seater at the same time. And I have no shame. I don't offer to let her go first. I just say, "I'll be real quick! I'm sorry!" Just as I sit down, Joey figures out how to open and unlock the bathroom door (which opens to the lobby,btw). My first reaction without thinking is to close the door but of course I'm not done peeing yet and wind up peeing all over the floor and my pants! I should have just finished and waved to who ever could see me! Lol So the promise of "I'll be real quick" turns into me on my hands and knees mopping up my own pee from the bathroom floor.
Joey and I book it out of there as fast as we can and I can never show my face (or my bottom) there again!!
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