Friday, May 9, 2014

munchkin #2


Let's start from the beginning. Last time I saw two little pink lines, I was alone. This time around, I had a set of eyes watching my every move. I think that's funny for some reason. I haven't gone to the bathroom alone in about 19 months. That first week was bliss, and then it hit. The constant nausea and vomiting. Little man, you had me in the ER twice getting hydrated and in and out of the doctors office countless times to check my weight loss and urine for dehydration. EVERY doctor, nurse, ultrasound tech and resident insisted you were a girl. Nobody gets this sick with a boy, heck, maybe it's twins a couple of people said. That caused me to vomit more. Daddio stayed home with me for a week while I hung over the toilet but had to go back to work eventually. Your poor brother never ate some many cheerios, crackers, and cheese in those 12 weeks. It was the only thing I could stomach to make him. There were weeks when we didn't leave the house. I think I had the same tank of gas in my car for more than a month. Daddy took care of us and grocery shopped and brought home take out and learned to wash clothes. I missed a month of work. Everyday for 12 weeks, I got sick multiple times a day. I learned what came up easier, like yogurt and pop surprisingly. Popsicles and chocolate silk milk were staples and when I found something that stayed down, I ate it everyday for days! I was constantly nauseous. It never went away. I had a strict schedule of meds to try and keep the vomiting at bay and some days were better than others. The worst was changing your brothers diapers and there were many instances of throwing a diaper on him and then running to the bathroom. As I sat on the bathroom floor or hung over the kitchen sink, Joey would sometimes hug, sometimes attack, and sometimes just sit on me and it always made me smile. I had never felt more sick or more weak in my life. I lost 12 pounds. Fifteen was the magic number before the doctors considered placing a PICC line for daily hydration and IV medication. And after the first trimester (13 weeks), things started to slowly get better. The vomiting went down to once a day, and then to only when I was stressed, or encountered a really nasty diaper. I haven't been sick since 14.5 weeks and now Daddy can even make coffee without me making a sour face or tossing my cookies!

At 13 weeks, I had a ultrasound and I asked to the tech to guess if you were a boy or girl. I knew it was possible to tell but not likely and I thought for sure you were a girl. And if I was having a girl, there was a lot more preparation that was needed. Everyone had convinced me and she said we were all wrong, you were a boy (and it was kind of a relief)! A few weeks later this was confirmed and I have the pictures to prove it.

So all this is to say and to remind me, that you, dear little boy, are going to be our last. This uterus is closed for business after you're born. Daddy thinks I'm lying. I am BEYOND thankful for you and I am cherishing every moment of being pregnant and I love feeling you kick. In fact, if you wanted to kick more, that'd be perfect! I first felt you at 12 weeks right after doing the dishes. Sometimes you hit so hard, it catches me off guard and I get startled and yelp. It's pretty awkward when it happens at work, you know. At only 5.5 months, I'm already as big as I was at 7 months with your brother! I will hold you and snuggle you and tell myself every day to enjoy it. I will take the two boys that God has given me and hold them close and be content with every blessing. And I'm not counting God out of this picture; I believe that it's possible things and hearts (and uteruses, uteri?) change, and I'm open to that...then. Perhaps adoption? Who knows?! But I can't wait to meet you (this seems like it is going by so. so. slowly.) and have our family be complete. Try not to be too hard on me, okay, little man? I already love you no matter what though :)

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Dirty beliefs

Why is it wrong to have an opinion that doesn't line up with popular culture?! If you have a differing opinion at all, you're labeled intolerant and rude and run the risk of getting fired. 

"The point is, you turn on the TV or crank up the Pandora and you’re going to be watching or listening to a stream of deviants, junkies, rapists, pedophiles, adulterers, and crooks, yet we don’t bat an eye until someone quotes the Bible or endorses traditional marriage.

Amidst a sea of perversity and violence, the only thing the fascists seek to punish is the reasonable expression of Christian beliefs.

In a country of filth, the only thing you can’t be is pro-life and pro-marriage."

--Matt Walsh